March 12, 2026

Eyes:

“Meditations in an Emergency”, Cameron Awkward-Rich

I wake up & it breaks my heart. I draw the blinds
& the thrill of rain breaks my heart. I go outside.
I ride the train, walk among the buildings, men in
Monday suits. The flight of doves, the city of tents beneath the underpass, the huddled mass, old
women hawking roses, & children all of them,
break my heart. There's a dream I have in which I
love the world. I run from end to end like fingers
through her hair. There are no borders, only wind.
Like you, I was born. Like you, I was raised in the institution of dreaming. Hand on my heart. Hand
on my stupid heart.

From The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion:

“Read, learn, work it up, go to the literature. Information is control.”

Some brutally relatable quotes from The Novelist, by Jordan Castro:

“My morning so far felt beyond my control, like it was happening to me, not because of me”

“I felt entirely uninterested in reading or thinking about anything; I felt preemptively exhausted at the prospect of being thrust into having to think about something”

“Without an active disposition toward life, or a unifying life-task, I was absolved of my responsibility to step forward, into my own life, and could languish in front of my laptop, thinking, eschewing all else for the sake of my “novel,” pretending that I was engaged in something important and unique, when in reality I was engaged in common cowardice”

“everything a lukewarm soup of fragmented, poetic moods”

Ears:

“Claw Machine”, Sloppy Jane, Phoebe Bridgers

“I Don’t Wanna Be Too Cool”, Kate Fagan

“DEATHCAMP feat. Cole Alexander”, Tyler, The Creator

“Kill Everything”, fakemink

“Goodness Pt. 1”, The Hotelier

“Wake Me up to Drive”, Big Thief